Happy Easter everyone! Let me tell you, this post has been a long time coming. What I originally wanted to do for this post was share some family photos and explain what Easter Sunday means to our family. I wanted to share with you one of the 8 principles of peace, and how one in particular seemed to be more relevant in my life, as it is something I have to continually strive for every single day. After whats been going on the past week or so, it just didn’t feel right sharing what I had originally planned and the story I had to go along with it.
As some of you know, this week we had some pretty bad scares and some bad news about my pregnancy. It’s been a rough week for our family; so many tears and so much fear of the unknown. This trial has brought us to our knees, and ultimately tested our faith. Since we received the bad news, I’ve been really down in the dumps. Thats not like me, I’m more of a glass half full type of girl. This particular trial however, is something I have now experienced three times. As some of you know, I had both of my boys at 27 weeks gestation. It is something i’ve had to accept and try to move past, as my body just can’t seem to keep babies past this week. After Beckham was born, we swore up and down he was our last. His birth and NICU stay was very traumatic, and it’s not something I share too often because it was a very heart breaking time in our life. Even so, as the years past we kept feeling like we were meant to have one more. It started the day we attended the temple for my sister in laws wedding, and we both tried to ignore it; saying there was no way we could handle that again. Another year past, and it started happening more frequently. After a good four years, we both knew it was time. As scary as that was, we couldn’t ignore the fact that we both strongly felt there was a little spirit who was anxiously waiting to meet our family.
The day we found out we were pregnant was surreal (and scary), but we both had such high hopes. We started talking to specialists even before I became pregnant, and had done everything we possibly could to ensure that this little one would make it to full term. Countless doctor appointments, preventative medicines, bed rest, etc. After some pretty scary complications this past week, and some really bad news about the babies brain; it feels as though i’m experiencing the horror all over again. I’ve had to rely on Faith, that sometimes things are just not in my control; and I need to trust that our Heavenly Father will take care of us and especially the precious angel I am so grateful to be carrying.
This is something I have to work on every single day, it is something I have to continually rely on and know that sometimes after all is said and done, I need to trust that my Heavenly Father loves me and wants whats best for me. Sometimes I just have to rely on him and ask him to lift my burden and take on the weight of something that is impossibly hard for me to handle. I honestly hate the saying, “God will never give you a trial that is too hard to handle.” I don’t believe that in the slightest. I do believe however, that we WILL have trials that are too hard to handle, but he promises to help lift our burden and help us through if we let him. If we have faith in him. These trials are meant to mold and shape us into who he wants and needs us to be. To bring us closer to him, to make us better people, to serve others, to be more compassionate and understanding, and to be a beacon of hope to others who later might go through this same trial.
Now here I am, on Easter Sunday (my favorite Sunday of the entire year); on bedrest while my husband and boys are at church without me. It’s been a rough few months full of ups and downs, but somehow I feel nothing but love. Love for this little one growing inside me, love for my husband for being a super human and taking on all of my regular mom duties along with his own, and for my two sweet boys who bring me so much joy and happiness. More than I ever thought imaginable. With all of the unknowns in life, I know one thing for sure. God knows our name, he knows our hearts, and he will always be there to lift us up if we let him. I have faith that no matter what the outcome of our current circumstance, everything will be okay. Why? Because Heavenly Father will help us through it.
I know without a doubt, with every fiber of my being, that Christ lives. I know that God sent his only son to die for us. I know that because he suffered for us, he knows exactly what we are going through. He knows every pain, every sorrow, he knows our hearts and he knows our names. I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and I love him. In this world full of doubt, let this Sunday be a reminder to us all that we are loved and cared for. “In our hour of deepest sorrow, we can receive profound peace from the words of the angel that first Easter morning: ‘He is not here: for he is risen.”President Thomas S. Monson
Do you, or do you know someone who exemplifies one of the 8 principles of peace? Id love to hear your stories, and encourage you to share them on social media using the hashtag #PrinceOfPeace. Visit mormon.org to learn more.